It all started in September of 1987, about 1.5 months after (catch this moment of perfection), my second wife asked me to leave our matrimonial home. Yes, you heard that right … 2nd wife! Perhaps this was leading up to all earlier and current TM’s confessions and transparency. Either way, here I am!
One might rightfully see this as a rebound affect, as did my family. My dad did say however, about a month into this relationship, “now this is the girl he should have met in the first place.”
With the past long behind us, following 28 years of marriage and going stronger than ever, TM often reflects on the fact of just how much had actually taken place in that short 1.5 month time-frame prior to meeting the best wife in the truest sense of the word.
Approximately 5 days after being asked to leave my second marriage, with no interest in reconciliation, a beautiful eight month old daughter, my ex-wife handed me a book that changed my life “The Power of Positive Thinking,” by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. Shocker was, I always thought I was the upbeat optimistic one. Obviously, God had other plans … leading to TM becoming what seemed like invincible … identified more appropriately as being born-again according to Christian terminology; wasn’t brought up in a Christian home.
A few things were going over and over in my mind, one being that I needed to clean up my act. This was child #2 who’s life was being impacted profoundly because of two adults who cannot seem to get it together and be grown ups and not like children themselves; could it be this ‘no God,’ in the marriage thing? My then ex-father-in-law thought so…and it was all new to me…although somehow was beginning to see it as a pretty good indication that that was the case … it wasn’t going happen again … starting with zero children from here on in.
Eeeeek … speaking of the best wife in the truest sense of the word, who would have thought … the very person who would have made a super mom, yet still did as a step-mom, would decide to have children and the klutz of all fools made it not possible … and with two attempts to reverse said action resulted in NO, NO, NO. Hey, all part of the much bigger plan … but still.
Despite all TM’s flaws, the best wife in the truest sense of the word still wanted to marry, and so on October 25, 1989 we made it happen. Because my bride (Vicki) had been married once before and I had what seemed to me like an entourage of wives on my trail, we had a secret wedding using the services of The Justice of The Peace, inviting both families to dinner as though a surprise late birthday party for Vicki (Oct/19), which it still was and she didn’t even know, plus, the introduction of a new son and daughter in-law; it was an incredible event … so much fun … and so relaxing and casual … with a surprise visit unexpected from my cousin in the USA, plus, another aunt from a different part of the USA, without the slightest idea of what was taking place.
We exchanged vows to officiate our marriage covenant under God on our 5th and 10th wedding anniversary. With life extremely chaotic for reasons I won’t expand on, from court rooms, to business failures, to the marriage of our daughter, to ailing, failing, and passing of parents, we will do this once again on our 30th anniversary; Vic just doesn’t know it yet, lol, and all will be invited … meaning all blog follower friends, local friends, hopefully all former enemies, and family … and guessing one ‘Ex’ for sure, lol.
So life has moved on. The best wife in the truest sense of the word has majored in:
- Taking over as a true servant to her family from day one … all about her step-daughter and husband
- Taking over as lunch packer, afternoon and/or midnight snack preparer, launderer, housekeeper
- Playing her motherly role attending school functions
- Enjoying the fact of driving her grateful daughter to and from visits to friends when dad is unavailable
- Unwarranted but motherly and spousal roles in her eyes, driving with her husband and daughter back and forth for visits with her mom, 10 hrs return at times
- Attending court and supporting her husband on family matters regarding two marriages back
- Serving alongside her husband while spending a good 10 years during the latter half of her husbands music career
- Serving alongside her husband who became an ordained Pastor in 2001, leading two different congregations until 2007
- Serving her own parents until death did they part
- Eagerly serving her in-laws alongside her husband until death did they part
- Still routinely maintaining her home as her castle with pride and servitude … and dare her husband touch the laundry and mix whites and colors … or not fold it correctly that he wouldn’t look his best
- Still insisting on preparing full meals after working diligently and faithfully every day the past 40+ years, literally, as a broker, with maybe half a dozen sick days and no rewards at the end of the tunnel
- Giving where others would not think of giving … 50 cents, $20, or ????
- Serving her youngest brother, faithfully, just as promised to her mother while saying goodbye
- Serving her just younger brother whenever needed to help him with his business
- Serving her oldest brother when needed up request
- Serving her mothers best friend after her mom passing … FREE GRATIS … with no interest in reward … groceries, meals and meal prep, hospital and doctor appointments, med pick up and cutting and sorting … until woman is on her deathbed and family decide to get involved to start protecting their inheritance…although very little … little do they know
- Serve, serve, serve, and serve some more … that my friends … if you have read this far … is the true definition of the best wife in the truest sense of the word.
When it comes to the likes of Hollywood and the Media addressing the outer side of the woman in such articles as ‘Top 10 Most Beautiful American Women,’ they’re missing the point! The problem with this narrow minded, sexually driven thinking, one will always get what they see, and rarely anything more; TM speaks from experience the hard way. However, when God leads, we learn to love from the inside out, not the outside in.
And then of course we have the ‘Hottest NHL Wives and Girlfriends.‘ Men just don’t get it … but then when we have money to burn, who cares, we’ll just lap up another wag, right! TM, although still learning and the furthest from perfect, is so, so grateful he learned his lesson when he did.
And to close off a point, considering I too was in the company of many country music greats, and knowing how the groupie scene works, no different than the sadness of matches attempted to be made perfect on the likes of The Bachelor, or The Bachelorette, for which there is no perfect match, I couldn’t leave out ‘Country Music’s Hottest Wives and Girlfriends,’ article parade. Why, or better still, when will we learn that women are more than trophies, and the real prize is behind closed doors with a brain and a heart for more than status and return trophies.
TM … you’re going to get yourself in hot water! Maybe, maybe not … however … if this truth offends, without judgement of any kind intended … the offended has much to learn … along with the rest of us … the hard way unfortunately!